There’s nothing that is being DIRECTLY aimed at you, so if you ever call your partner out on it, YOU look like the unreasonable, insecure, and boundary-less a*shole. The thing about social media and relationships is that if you’re being disrespected, it’s the most painful checkmate to find yourself in. All it took was dating ONE guy that was extremely active on social media, to unearth my most humiliating behavior, reverse narcissism, and deepest insecurities (that I didn’t even know I had in me). I’m fortunate to have dated men that could care less about social media. What are the pink flags that precede the red ones? When does “normal” social media activity become a deal-breaker?… When does it become wrong?… When does it become creepy? Is there social media etiquette for dating and being in relationships? Yet, there is STILL this lingering, “if-I-was-good/hot/popular-enough-he-wouldn’t-have-to-follow/comment/like,'” mind f*cking MADNESS that you just can’t shake no matter how many excuses you try to extinguish your partner’s voyeuristic fire with. So, we give ourselves the excuse pacifier and seek to work on becoming “more understanding,” “less sensitive,” and “stronger.” I clearly need to work on MY issues and insecurities.” It’s not like he’s sexting/DM-ing these Instagram models and a*s/boob accounts. “All men do this! I have no right to be embarrassed or feel shameful about it. “It’s better than him/her cheating on me! At least he/she feels comfortable enough to do this in front of my face and not behind my back.” This is just me trying to sabotage a good thing.” I need to get over this pettiness before I lose them and fail at yet another relationship. He/she is an amazing person in every aspect. “He/she had these accounts (and a life!) before me. A big reason why this topic never gets discussed: whenever it starts to become an issue, we immediatley generate a bandaid-on-cancer excuse. We’re scared because there’s a part of us that feels like we have no right to impose on someone else’s right to do whatever they want with their OWN accounts. The topic of social media and relationships is one of those guilt and shame-inducing unmentionables that we’re too scared to admit we have an issue with. It’s a real issue – an issue that I wanted to write about because when it comes to social media and relationships, there isn’t much out there. Just pairing the words “social media and relationships” together gives me anxiety.Īlthough the topic may seem unnecessary, it’s not.